Sometimes I Cry, My Mother’s Day Reality

Sometimes I cry…because my Mom was so young when she passed away from breast cancer almost 8 months ago.

Sometimes I cry…about the fact that my children will never see their Grandma again, and she won’t get to watch them grow up.

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Sometimes I cry…for the loneliness and pain my dad feels after spending 42 years with such an amazing woman, and now she’s gone.

Mom and Dad

Sometimes I cry…for the littlest things, for no reason, but I can’t stop it, it just happens.

Sometimes I cry…on the long commute to work, wondering why this happened to our family, it’s so unfair.

Sometimes I cry…so hard that I can’t breathe.

Sometimes I cry…as I pass St. Boniface Hospital…where we spent those 3 weeks in August/September 2013

Sometimes I cry…as I pass Calvary Temple where her funeral was held.

Sometimes I cry…so hard that I can’t get out of my car in the parking lot at work.

Sometimes I cry…as I flashback and hear her say “I will let go once I see my grandbabies”…and that’s exactly what she did.

Sometimes I cry…knowing that she left us on my sister’s birthday.

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Sometimes I cry…for my sister.

Sometimes I cry…when I think about the pain Mom was in.

Sometimes I cry…at how she strong she was through it all.

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Sometimes I cry…for my grandma who lost her first-born daughter, her sisters, brothers and the rest of our family.

Sometimes I cry…because she was so wise, and I just want to hear her voice again.

Sometimes I cry…as I listen to the last voicemail she left me.

Sometimes I cry…for the people who don’t realize how lucky they are to still have their moms, yet take them for granted.

Sometimes I cry…because of the insensitive people who expect you just to “move on”.

Sometimes I cry…because my life will never be the same without her.

Sometimes I cry…wondering what was going through her mind after she was told she was going to be “kept comfortable”.

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Sometimes I cry…because I literally watched my mom die.

Sometimes I cry…because I miss her so much.

Sometimes I cry…because this will be the first of many Mother’s Days without my mom.

Sometimes I cry…because I will spend Mother’s Day with my mom…at her graveside.

 

14 Comments

  1. loriag
    November 14, 2014 / 10:35 am

    Prayers as this holiday season comes that you will feel your Mom’s memories close to you. Hugs.

  2. Brandee H
    June 8, 2014 / 10:17 am

    This is absolutely beautiful! I avoid mothers day! No tv. No stores. Its just not the same when your mom is gone!

  3. JaimeeM
    June 3, 2014 / 9:27 am

    Im sorry for your loss.

  4. Andy
    May 14, 2014 / 12:54 pm

    Natalie – that was the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a long time! I love you girl..

  5. May 9, 2014 / 12:49 pm

    I know this feeling very well. All those things you just said here too. Hugs. What a beautiful picture of her and your dad. Sometimes the little things catch my heart and I think oh my good lord how is it possible it’s been this many days since I saw her last. I think it’s okay to cry sometimes. I have found a lot of great people on blogs and twitter who have been through the same journey with their parents. I am missing my Mom this Mother’s day also. This week was one year since my Mom passed away and if I think about the time we were in the hospital – those last couple of days it hurts a lot still. Sending love, hugs and joy your way.

  6. May 8, 2014 / 10:10 am

    XOXOXO to you and your family Natalie. What a beautifully written post about your mom and all the joy she brought to everyone that knew her. Thinking of you and your family this weekend.

  7. Carla
    May 8, 2014 / 8:47 am

    I cried reading this. And it’s ok to cry. Sending you hugs and prayers during this time. She’s watching you from above.

  8. May 7, 2014 / 10:16 pm

    a beautiful post that captures your heart and all that you are feeling right now. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to remember and most of all it is those memories that keep her close to your heart. Thinking of you this weekend.

  9. Erika
    May 7, 2014 / 7:48 pm

    This must have been painful to write but it really touched my heart. Many hugs to you at this difficult time.

  10. Jacquelyn S
    May 7, 2014 / 4:38 pm

    Lots of hugs and love to you, and your family Natalie! Stay strong♡♡ From all ive heard, and read she seemed like a beautiful person in and out.

  11. May 7, 2014 / 12:58 pm

    I just cried reading this, Natalie 🙁 My heart breaks for you because I know I would feel the exact same way without my mother. What a beautiful lady your mom was…and what an amazing mom she must have been. I can tell by your post. Big hugs to you at the extra tough time XO

  12. May 7, 2014 / 11:11 am

    Hugs! I can not imagine your pain. This day will be tough for you for sure.Just remember it is ok to cry

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